So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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