it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize