Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
handjob tips. give me some.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
