it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i love accidental penises.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
