Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
