in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
