Duck Duck Cougar?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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