Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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