Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
