If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
