you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just high enough for therapy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize