who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He passed out mid-signature
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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