Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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