did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
