More tranny stories later!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
