any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
