is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize