it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
