Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Maybe he injected his testicle?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
