you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
