at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
