I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
