It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
