dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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