what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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