dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
