Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
