i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she peed on how many people?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
