How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
