We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
