Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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