don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
