But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
