Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
