Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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