His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
