....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize