and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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