Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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