sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
