I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
