you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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