i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it because I queefed?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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