WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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