do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
