you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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