um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
