We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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