highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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