Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she looked like the before picture.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
