If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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