There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
