Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
