Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
