I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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