i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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