sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
