I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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