So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
