He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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