I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
