So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
