I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Welp...herpes.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
