Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
