My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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