who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My liver just had a heart attack.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
