so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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