I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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