Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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