butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
