Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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