508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The adults are the big ones right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize